make believe....

of all the bands in the world.. ade satu ajer so far.. yg gua ade every album yg diorg penah keluarkan di dunia nih.. kakakkaka.. jadik it is wtih great joy that gua review (briefly) album baru W..... make believe.. so far mmg believable sial album nih.. sgt sgt believable... they r comin off age.. sure.. since the 1st album gua selalu harap diorg release sumthin yg catch the same tune.. punkish tapi rock tapi sweet... its not that the last two album was bad... gua consider both refreshing.. takde aper yg teruk pun.. (bukan bias).. but it would be great if they come up with tunes from the blue album.. so far in each album.. aside frm pinkerton.. they put at least 2-3 tunes camtuh... normally mmg susah lu nak break the dominance that u've created after the era of this-is-by-far-the-best-album-from-the-band punyer time... but still W never disappoint.....

frm the start.. make believe ngan 1st track die kills... gua terigt yg gua tak penah rase amaze since back wen i first heard my name is jonas... i feel amp.. until the last track i dont know wat to say or comment.. sum tracks r so good.. but still some bein typical W frm the 2 album last 2 years.. n that got me thinkin.. kalo W tak released green n maladroit.. tapi kumpul lagu die.. n take the best out of each album.. than make believe will turn out to be the-next-great-album utk diorg... i dont find it hard to compiled 12 songs from those 3 albums... in fact i am doin it inside my shuffle... tapi diorg tak pike camtuh.. infact lepas pinkerton.. we've waited for eternity utk W release album.. green album was really an antidote for us.. it was good.. but just imagine how good it is.. to scrap some tracks of it.. put the best of malandroit n make believe?

tapi gua pun tak bole kata camtuh.. green album itself is great.... so takper takper... tapi bole ker gua amik make believe as the 3rd best album?... i dunno actually.. it huv all the materials of bein great.. because beverly hills is easily the best song... perfect situation.. really good.. hold me... giler... my bes frens.. the other way... haunt u every day.... well.. those are on top of my head... antara yg meninggalkan kesan... but as alwayz u gotta get the whole album utk enjoy it.. u know wen some song die susun to come after another.. n sebab tuh baru lu rase sedap... well camtuh laa..... for the complete list n band comments... here:

http://www.weezer.com/discography/makebelieve.asp

so now.. how do i rate make believe.... different... i dont really huv a ranking of whose who.. tapi i would say if the compiled green + maladroit + make believe.. easily the best W album of all time.. but they didnt do that... they came wit 3 seperate releases to satisfy the hunger n crave of their fans... so gua end up wit this.. almost as good as blue, at par wit pinkerton (walaupun byk org ckp pinkerton nih emo n soft) n green... a very good complementary of maladroit n green though.... anywayz.. thx alot.. at least i dont huv to wait long.. hopefully the next installement would take 1 - 2 or 5 yrs guys....

told u so...

From http://www.peta.org/feat/hiddenlives/

(emm.... i told u ppl.. now i just need to get this book: The Development of Brain and Behaviour in the Chicken to continue.. kakakakakakaka)

A Few Examples of Chicken Capabilities

• The video “Let’s Ask the Animals,” produced by the Association for the Study of Animal Behaviour in the United Kingdom, shows chickens learning which bowls contain food by watching television, learning to peck a button three times in order to obtain food, and learning how to navigate a complex obstacle course in order to get to a nesting box.

• In 2002, the PBS documentary The Natural History of the Chicken revealed that “[c]hickens love to watch television and have vision similar to humans. They also seem to enjoy all forms of music, especially classical.”

• Chickens are able to learn by watching the mistakes of others and are very adept at teaching and learning.

• Chickens also can learn to use switches and levers to change the temperature in their surroundings and to open doors to feeding areas.

• Chickens have more than 30 distinct cries to communicate to one another, including separate alarm calls depending on whether a predator is traveling by land or sea.

• A mother hen will turn her eggs as many as five times an hour and cluck to her unborn chicks, who will chirp back to her and to one another from within their shells!

• Chickens navigate by the sun.

• A hen will often go without food and water, if necessary, just to have a private nest in which to lay her eggs.

• Like us, chickens form strong family ties and mourn when they lose a loved one.

• Kim Sturla, who runs Animal Place, a sanctuary for abused and discarded farmed animals, has seen chickens empathize and show affection for one another. She recalls an endearing story about two elderly chickens who had been rescued from a city dump. “Mary” and “Notorious Boy” bonded and would roost on a picnic table together. One stormy night when the rain was really pelting down, Sturla went to put Mary and Notorious Boy in the barn and saw that “the rooster had his wing extended over the hen protecting her.”

belief in self....

i find it rather amazing.. last week was pretty borin but yet busy... this week looks to be the same.. every weekend kite try utk carik jalan lari dari segala kebisingan nih.. only to found out.. the very next week kite kembali buat benda yg sama.. tapi itulah norm.. esp. biler kite sendiri buat keja yg kite tak minat.. dan idup berpandukan wats right fo us not wats true for us.. gua rase everyone ade sumthin yg die bebetul nak buat.. until now.. wen they huv to settle for wat ever they can get a hold on to..... funny how dari kecik kite dibullshitkan ngan idea yg kite bole jadik aper aper yg kite nak jadik only to end up broken......

u know wen u were young.. cikgu.. esp. selalu ckp pasal kalo kite belaja rajin rajin kite bole end up buat aper ajer kite nak buat.. fuck that.. half or even more jutawan dan billionwan kan dunia tak abis belaja pun.. but they know how to survive.. n sadly subject how-to-survive takde sape yg aja time sekolah mahupun universiti.. yes.. i do agree that universiti ajar kite membentuk peribadi.. no no.. wait wait.. salah salah.. universiti actually shows the real character in u.. thats it... it teaches a thing or two (or a zillion) things u never know about urself... some good n some of course bad.. tapi thats it.. tak de sape nak aja lu how-to survive n thats y some or the majority of graduates sekrang nih actually a slave of the system... yes.. a slave....

slave dlm zaman modern.. tak lagik pakai tshirt ajer.. tapi diwell dresskan dan dilabel kan sebagai koperat.. fuck that.. executive? kakakakaa.. u can become wat u want to be... as long as u know how to get there.. plus kekadang lu kena ade certain advantage yg org selalu sifatkan sebagai politiks.. yes u need politiks.. if u wanna play straight.. its great.. but it will only take u thus far... tak jauh sgt laa tapi... the lesson of surviving is pretty much the same as the law of nature.. sape power kat atas.. sape tak power kat bawah... sebab tuh org semua sebok carik power.. sebab tuh ppl go to war sebab nak jadik power... sumtimes i wish that this world is the matrix.. semua menda artificial... sebab gua lagik suker the fact that semua org despite power yg diorg ade sekarang hanyalah bateri kepada machine.. kakkakaka... that some how.. all men r equal..

but that will never happens.. kalo gua tanyer kebanyakkan org yg sekarang sedang bekerja aper sebab diorg keja... probably jawapan die sebab tepakse dan dpt duit.. sebab bills bills bills.. n some akan jawab sebab diorg luv.. sebab diorg pecaya aper yg cikgu diorg ckp mase diorg belaja... that u can be watever u want to be... sebab diorg dah set this one goal dan takde aper yg kacau diorg.. tapi agak melampau kalo kite amik kire cite cite time kecik ... ppl change.. probably sekarang kalo gua tanyer aper sebenanyer diorg nak buat.. well majoriti akan defer from aper yg diorg buat sekrang.. i'll be the first to admit (its not hard pun).. probably ade kawan gua akan ckp die nak jadik pilot.. sorang nak main nba.. n the list goes on.... but how far are we frm achieving it?... setengah probably takkan dpt... atau setengah probably mungkin nanti....

rainy days....

i find it wired these days.. gua tatau sebab aper.. well salah tuh.. sebenanyer sebab gua.. gua rase perasaan gua tak tentu hala skit.. not up to the level makan tak kenyang .. mandi tak basah laa.. by the way gua rase tu totally ridiculous sebab maner bole camtuh... giler ker lu kena air rase tak basah.. makan bole tak kenyang.. so berak camner.. berak tapi tak keluar taik.. well tak possible.. tapi persoalan ttg lojik tuh ajer menimbulkan mcm mcm menda.. cthnyer camner kite bole kata bahawa ayam rase cam ayam... atau pun anythin for that matter rase sedap.. rase manis.. btul kite ade deria utk melebalkan menda menda nih.. tapi deria tuh operate on sense of feeling kiter.. sebab tuh setengah menda tak sedap pada certain org taste like chicken utk org lain.. vice versa... but fuck that.. gua tak membolehkan lagik membincangkan ttg teori tuh sebab gua ade byk reading lagik kena buat sebelum gua mempersoalankan menda menda tuh.. in fact wen im done.. probably gua bole tulis satu paper dan later on device algorithm... yg membuatkan gua tepike....

lu org selalu tgk camner ayam lari biler kena keja ngan org waktu nak sembelih raya.. lu rase tuh rawak ker atau tak.. gua tak sure lagik.. but im open for anythin.. email gua atau hantar ajer komen lu.. sebab gua believe diorg takde la lari random camtuh ajer.. musti ade purpose.. musti ade kire probability.. weigher bai.. between this and that.. semua menda camtuh.. mungkin gua akan study menda nih sampai satu hari gua dpt buat satu algorithm.. nama pun kewl bai = CHICKEN RUN ALGORITHM... kakkakakakaka.. problem state die.. biler nak kena sembelih..

kite represent problem kite as catching a chicken... so a chicken being caught will represent kite dah sampai solution tuh.. kite sent laa chicken nih lari ke mane ajer utk lepas kan diri die.. lebih kurang sama cam lettin it explore the search space.. so biler kite tangkap chicken tuh sendiri bole represent yg the search has already exausted... chicken tuh dah lari semua area.. (come to think of it.. menda nih cam bole jadik.. shit.. i better put serius tot on this matter.. kakakakakakakak)

later biler gua dah ade read up dan dan establish some literature review on chickens dan pattern die lari gua get back.. gua pun tak pecaya finally gua ade sumthin yg penting nak pike time time camnih.. actually i am dead n burried.. gua tak happy ngan situation gua n gua tatau camner nak kembali gumbira.. gua rase ngan status gua yg hanging nih membuatkan gua memencilkan diri... at home im not as happy anymore... at work im soo soo not happy.. n the only time i found comfort is wen im in my room.. n thats by default sebab gua nak pegi main ball.. tapi gua takde kawan nak pegi main... (im not good wit strangers.. so lu tau laa)..... n tadik gua bagitau housemate gua yg i dont feel welkom at home.. well sebenanyer bukan salah die or anybody.. cumer gua sekarang senang tick off ngan menda menda bodo... gua regard diri gua as fragile.. kakakakakkakakak... (i do feel like a women sumtimes.. tapi kalo lu tanyer housemate gua die ckp everytime kot.. n fuck u to jin)... gua jadik camnih sebab situation gua... so before anythin gua nak express apology gua kat housemate gua sebab causing some discomfort kepada die.. if any.. everything is kewl sebenanyer.. gua kena make sure gua kan get thru this peroid of waiting.. lu pun tau aper waiting bole buat kat lu... pressure... semua hanging on a balance... gua nak ucap time kaseh sebab die paham.. gua ok dah bai.. its not that i dont feel welkom.. it is just gua tak bole welkom kan diri gua.. mungkin selepas semua nih settle .. keadaan bole kembali seperti sedia kala.. takde hal bro... sori mat...

i guess bukan jesus ajer feels the heat.. gua rase ppl around gua pun rase gua cam tak mcm gua... physical yer gua ade.. but spiritual gua dah tak berapa ade... mungkin sebab gua asik pike dan pressure diri gua... after a while mmg gua rase utk tak kesahkan menda menda nih.. dah sum times dah gua keep on sayin that gua akan get over it.. tapi susah jugak sebab nih sumthing yg gua huv been working out dah lebih 1/2 yrs dah kan... well some day biler semua menda dah certain gua akan resync diri gua balik.. this goes out to awak n bunch of my frens who felt that there is sumthin wrong wit me.. sori... i try to keep this worry on my own.. everything that has a beginning has an end....

to whom it may concern....

hari nih gua 1st datang office... dont worry sebab bukan nyer nih first time.. kalo korang nak amik kire atau kalo laa diorg willing nak bagi award menda nih.. bole tahan jugak byknyer gua ader kat umah.. funny jugak sebab gua bole masuk in between 8.30 - 9.00.. tapi still gua sampai seawal nih.. gua rase mmg senang nak bangun pagi.. penat yer.. tapi dgn buat camnih kekadang lagik senang nak tido time malam... dah masuk bulan 5 dah pun.. satu bulan lagik nak half year.. tak berapa lama lagik pun.. next week dah mid 20's..

wats been happening?.. well lately nuthin much.. or shall i say nuthin at all.. last month was witout a doubt cam happening.. exciting.. pinnacle of my life... takde laa nak kate sepanjang nih takde menda yg bess jadik.. byk laa in terms of 25 yrs idup gua nih.. tapi last month after months of nuthin.. bawak skit meanings... only to.. aaaa... gua pun dah malas nak cite pasal frustration n anger n dissapointment.. sebab gua tak blog as much anymore.. sebab gua rase gua akan bangkitkan persoalan yg samer.. persoalan ttg mase ttg kuasa ttg asa ttg esa... cycle around the same topic over n over n over again....

probably sekrang gua kena belaja utk terima hakikat.. ader menda mmg kite punyer ader menda bukan kite punyer... thats the way of the world.. org ader power to give life dan org ade power to take it away.. a measure of control... tapi kite tak bole control segala galanyer.. kena ader unpredictability yg pretty much predictable sebenanyer... certain actions kite dah tau aper outcome die sebab some things dah predetermined.. dah pre-set... org ade power akan abuse power misalannyer.. org ade duit akan salah guna duit die.. menda menda cam tuh laa.. even gua pun salah guna kuasa gua jika gua diberikan kuasa.. which is why i didnt vote or will never... coz there is no such things as true leader...

im not goin to bash ppl biler tak dpt menda... im tired of doin that... just look at this year.. almost half way and i am 0 - 4 .. kakakakka.. interms of carik keja.. infact gua pun tak pecaya.. dah almost 1/2 tahun gua still kat satu tempat yg same... the same time last year gua dah tuka 3 keja dah... loyalty?.. nooo... or probably.... luv for the job?.. nooo... nooo.. cumer mayb gua expecting sumthing big ajer.. sumthing that will determined the course of my life for good... gua tatau.. kekadang gua rase sgt berpurpose... org ckp kalo lu tunggu bulan jatuh kat riba sampai mati... well its true.... kekadang biler berhadapan ngan menda nih gua rase cam gua dah buat a firm decision tapi mungkin gua tak buat firm actions nak follow kot.....

apart of gua as alwayz nak blame org lain.. like the time gua pegi interview for the same organization fo 3 times...3 times n still gua dpt rejection.. giler sial... probably mmg ade sumthin wrong dgn gua.. kakkakaa... mmg gua tatau apsal pun.. mungkin gua tak cukup usaha lagik kot.. mungkin instead of blaming semua menda lain .. gua baik start amik semua blame.. be more responsible kot.. tgk sendiri keadaan gua... well sumhow gua rase ade betul jugaknyer kot... cam situasi sekarang pun.. gua rase gua selalu mengharap instead of push effort gua to the limits... cam gua bising pasal takde finance.. apsal gua tak pegi sane sini carik....

mungkin sebab gua sendiri pun tak suker merayu rayu nih.. which would make a lesser man... mungkin i do huv a heart of a champion.. the desire.. tapi mungkin gua selalu pike pasal diri gua dan menda menda yg gua tanak buat atau tak kena ngan peribadi gua yg menyebabkan menda menda nih... lately gua pun dah tak hiraukan persekitaran.. gua rase cam gua the type of org yg lu biakan idup sengsorang pun idup... mcm lalang.. lu tau tak lalang nih kat memaner pun bole idup... idup pun ikut ajer aper org kate... well mungkin gua lalang yg ade effort nak tuka cara gua.. cumer kekadang gua tak daya nak melawan angin yg tiup kat gua...

wen nuthin else matters....

i am here... nowhere.. dulu 4 tahun lepas aku ade similar dream.. its kinda funny tho... lepas 4 tahun ko rase idup nih cycle balik kat tempat yg same.. gua tak maksudkan up n downs tapi surroundings... 4 years ago at his very moment.. gua baru graduate dari ITM dgn diploma.. i am looking for options.. either working.. sambung degree local atau sambung degree overseas... tapi biler gua terigt pasal keja, gua terigt satu menda.. well actually mase finals gua igt satu benda.. gua igt lepas last paper.. gua lepak ngan bebudak sek 8 (jin, botak, meto, azan dan etc..) kat sek 8 laaa (of course)... gua igt betapa relief nyer botak time tuh selepas menyudah kan paper QMT tak silap gua.. it was chill.. semua org kewl dan laid back seolah olah baru lepas sumthin yg pressure diorg.. well.. kalo lu org buat dip.. probably korang rase same.. sum ppl yg sama baya tinggal satu tahun ajer nak grad for bachelor.. well for us (or sum of us now) ader lagik 2 tahun....

that bring me to botak.. di kalangan kitaorg die yg mula mula keja.. lepas praktikal die stay keja ngan kompeni die ever since... gua penah tepike the same thing.. nak keja.. gua pegi carik keja.. that time jobstreet tak laa sehype sekrang.. so u got to find ur own methods... actually ade a few places yg interest me.. tapi mostly sebab gua tgk factor building ajer.. one of them was mesiniaga... i did apply.. dpt interview ngan the same manager which is my boss now... she said, i did get the job... cumer die rase gua clueless at that time.. tatau aper nak buat.. well idea gua memula sebenanyer, disebabkan mesiniaga nih besa, gua igt diorg ade duit laa nak sponsor org bachelor... gua tak kesah stay 2-3 yrs pastuh org sponsor pegi overseas which is at that time my ultimate dream... tapi it turn out diorg nih nampak ajer poyo ngan building yg semacam ini.. takde duit atau polisi pun nak buat menda menda tuh.....

finally in between conflict of working n not gettin the place i wanted overseas.. gua decide utk sambung local.. 4 years later?... gua berada at the same place cumer the curcumstances are different now... gua bukan nak apply keja mesiniaga.. sebaliknyer gua mmg dah keja sini... (wit the same boss tapi)... gua dah dpt offer dari universiti... n gua betul betul commited utk buat benda nih.... bukan utk pegi overseas.. tapi utk dpt phd dan menjadi researcher yg bejaya... it is alwayz sumthin yg gua nak buat dari dulu... well a lot of ppl say that.. tapi bukan a lot of ppl dah try almost everythin utk sampai tu that conclusion.... bukan semua org dah try keja kat every place that seems possible dlm bidang die... then realized that for so long die sebenanyer suker buat satu benda nih.. cumer die tak seda.. lebih kurang cam dlm cite cinta keleng aaa....

well he i am at it again.... cumer this time gua takde finance plak.. kakakkkaka.... semakin hari semakin dekat gua utk pecaya the awful realiti menda menda nih... mungkin it is not meant to be... sumthin yg gua burried for 4 yrs... gua alwayz pecaya if u huv dream.. n u huv will n strength to do wat ever it takes.. then probably wit some blessing u'll get wat u want.... after 4yrs hold on to that.... tapi it seems after one full cycle ... wat matters most is gua still kat sini.. out of ideas n options dah... or simply gua rase malas dan penat... probably nih laa time gua realize yg this is the end... stop trying.. stop dreamin n just live ur life as attended to.. in a way.. selepas semua menda yg jadik this past 2-3 month, sekarang gua rase gua kena belaja except aper yg gua ader dan make the best out of it.. there's no point in wishing anymore..

mungkin juga.. mungkin nanti... these past days gua alwayz try to calm myself.. tho it is still possible.. tapi kite kena accept the fact sumtimes.. walaupun lu down 15 points in less than a minute.. sumtimes u cant avoid the inevitable... it is meant to be...