persimpangan dunia...

every once in while... i will alwayz look back... of wat has happened... wat fuck up n wat not... n most importantly.. how am i doin now?... to be truthful.. bukan once in a while mat.. i do it every fuckin day.. or every opportunity gua ade a.k.a mase relaks gua.. or more appropriately mase gua takde keja.. which is in fact.. sgt sgt rare as of late.. fuck this man.. fuck bnm.. gua takder laa nak makan gaji buter tapi semua menda nih membuat kan gua letih... n the fact the matters?.. gua hanyerlah a part of the system yg sekarang nih menghadapi byk tekanan sebab the so called senior members n experts dont know jack of wat they r doin.. victim bai victim... bodo sial diorg nih.. kalo tak bole buat jgn amik.. kalo tatau nak buat tanyer.. u dont go n just design sumthin based on ur guts wen u dont know anythin bout it.. this is how plannin r important people.. remember.. if u want sumthin.. u plan bai... tak kesah laa short term atau long term.. but u fuckin plan...

gua plan bai.. gua ader satu long term plan yg gua buat dlm short term period.. kalo lu org baca archive probably lu org tau.. but because i believe org yg baca blog gua nih hanyer laa certain certain org yg mmg kenal gua giler.. so i believe no explanation needed... so far.. im pissed off.. pissed off giler laa.. coz all the waiting.. is killin man.. on one side.. gua ader duit utk amik peksa.. on the other side gua ade email ckp altitudes n XX dah ader.. kakakkakaka.. it's not the shoes bai.. jgn salah paham gua.. apsal gua nak tau decision diorg.. (yes , u board of gradutes studies.. rn't u readin this.. damn!!!)... sebab nih lebih dari tau dpt ker tak.. lebih dari tuh bai.. this is about life.. sebab all this waitin is like puttin my life on hold.. gua tak suker sial.. pause.. freeze.. han solo... frozen...

gua tak suker gua tak bole buat benda yg gua nak buat bukan sebab gua tak nak buat tapi tak bole nak buat bukan sebab tak bole tapi sebab tak tau bole ker tak... (i hope u guys get that).. lu tau laa lu nak buat sumthin.. let say cam usha kasut kat sgpore (bukan nak beli.. nak tgk ajer) then.. korang tak bole buat (sbb gua tau kalo gua usha musti gua beli.. bside the point) sebab gua nak guna duit tuh utk amik peksa yg lu org tatau lagik pun samada lu org kena amik ker tidak... shit man.. nih jeopardizing idup gua sial... gua tak bole buat aper gua nak buat... gua tau gua tau lepas nih org ckp lu tak konfiden ker? tak optimis ker?... shit man mike ckp lu org kena optimis tehadap semua menda in life.. but fuck that.. im optimis because of all my efforts... tapi biler lu tinggalkan semua decision kat tangan org.. thats fuck up.. gua tau main ball pun kena ader luck.. lu bole shoot 20000 times a day pun.. still biler timenyer sampai.. lu kena ader luck.. lu ader konfiden.. tapi lu kena ader luck jugak bai.. wat u r doin... is to minimize the percentage or the probability of luck.. unless u r one lucky bastard... kalo bole kasik 0 percent.. tapi tuh takkan jadik punyer..

in my own opinion?.. the luck factor is still huge... gua rase ader dlm 40 - 50 % kot.. fuck that.. sebab tuh gua tak berapa hepi.. gua try tapi this damn universe is not helpin.. n keep sending me false omens... some help here big guy?... in the end.. it is not about how many shoes u got.. or how many u r plannin to huv.. trust me.. its not about the shoes.. tapi its about puttin ur life on hold.. sebab tuh ajer.. sebab sama mcm lu org ader gf pastuh die tinggalkan lu.. tuh mcm puttin ur luv life on pause mode.. i'll get to that later... (i'm guessin the board of gradute studies esp.. u laurie is not reading this blog anyways.. kakakkakakakakakkakakakakakakkakakakaka...)