rainy days....

i find it wired these days.. gua tatau sebab aper.. well salah tuh.. sebenanyer sebab gua.. gua rase perasaan gua tak tentu hala skit.. not up to the level makan tak kenyang .. mandi tak basah laa.. by the way gua rase tu totally ridiculous sebab maner bole camtuh... giler ker lu kena air rase tak basah.. makan bole tak kenyang.. so berak camner.. berak tapi tak keluar taik.. well tak possible.. tapi persoalan ttg lojik tuh ajer menimbulkan mcm mcm menda.. cthnyer camner kite bole kata bahawa ayam rase cam ayam... atau pun anythin for that matter rase sedap.. rase manis.. btul kite ade deria utk melebalkan menda menda nih.. tapi deria tuh operate on sense of feeling kiter.. sebab tuh setengah menda tak sedap pada certain org taste like chicken utk org lain.. vice versa... but fuck that.. gua tak membolehkan lagik membincangkan ttg teori tuh sebab gua ade byk reading lagik kena buat sebelum gua mempersoalankan menda menda tuh.. in fact wen im done.. probably gua bole tulis satu paper dan later on device algorithm... yg membuatkan gua tepike....

lu org selalu tgk camner ayam lari biler kena keja ngan org waktu nak sembelih raya.. lu rase tuh rawak ker atau tak.. gua tak sure lagik.. but im open for anythin.. email gua atau hantar ajer komen lu.. sebab gua believe diorg takde la lari random camtuh ajer.. musti ade purpose.. musti ade kire probability.. weigher bai.. between this and that.. semua menda camtuh.. mungkin gua akan study menda nih sampai satu hari gua dpt buat satu algorithm.. nama pun kewl bai = CHICKEN RUN ALGORITHM... kakkakakakaka.. problem state die.. biler nak kena sembelih..

kite represent problem kite as catching a chicken... so a chicken being caught will represent kite dah sampai solution tuh.. kite sent laa chicken nih lari ke mane ajer utk lepas kan diri die.. lebih kurang sama cam lettin it explore the search space.. so biler kite tangkap chicken tuh sendiri bole represent yg the search has already exausted... chicken tuh dah lari semua area.. (come to think of it.. menda nih cam bole jadik.. shit.. i better put serius tot on this matter.. kakakakakakakak)

later biler gua dah ade read up dan dan establish some literature review on chickens dan pattern die lari gua get back.. gua pun tak pecaya finally gua ade sumthin yg penting nak pike time time camnih.. actually i am dead n burried.. gua tak happy ngan situation gua n gua tatau camner nak kembali gumbira.. gua rase ngan status gua yg hanging nih membuatkan gua memencilkan diri... at home im not as happy anymore... at work im soo soo not happy.. n the only time i found comfort is wen im in my room.. n thats by default sebab gua nak pegi main ball.. tapi gua takde kawan nak pegi main... (im not good wit strangers.. so lu tau laa)..... n tadik gua bagitau housemate gua yg i dont feel welkom at home.. well sebenanyer bukan salah die or anybody.. cumer gua sekarang senang tick off ngan menda menda bodo... gua regard diri gua as fragile.. kakakakakkakakak... (i do feel like a women sumtimes.. tapi kalo lu tanyer housemate gua die ckp everytime kot.. n fuck u to jin)... gua jadik camnih sebab situation gua... so before anythin gua nak express apology gua kat housemate gua sebab causing some discomfort kepada die.. if any.. everything is kewl sebenanyer.. gua kena make sure gua kan get thru this peroid of waiting.. lu pun tau aper waiting bole buat kat lu... pressure... semua hanging on a balance... gua nak ucap time kaseh sebab die paham.. gua ok dah bai.. its not that i dont feel welkom.. it is just gua tak bole welkom kan diri gua.. mungkin selepas semua nih settle .. keadaan bole kembali seperti sedia kala.. takde hal bro... sori mat...

i guess bukan jesus ajer feels the heat.. gua rase ppl around gua pun rase gua cam tak mcm gua... physical yer gua ade.. but spiritual gua dah tak berapa ade... mungkin sebab gua asik pike dan pressure diri gua... after a while mmg gua rase utk tak kesahkan menda menda nih.. dah sum times dah gua keep on sayin that gua akan get over it.. tapi susah jugak sebab nih sumthing yg gua huv been working out dah lebih 1/2 yrs dah kan... well some day biler semua menda dah certain gua akan resync diri gua balik.. this goes out to awak n bunch of my frens who felt that there is sumthin wrong wit me.. sori... i try to keep this worry on my own.. everything that has a beginning has an end....